Embracing Retirement Freedom: Navigating New Choices in Life After Work

Eight weeks into retirement, I have two things to share: I felt nostalgic for work, and it's easy to become overwhelmed by options.

I'll start with the first one. Two weeks ago, I spent two nights at a beachfront resort. It was a worthwhile way to spend my increased free time, especially during the honeymoon phase of retirement. However, I didn't feel as rewarded as I used to when I took a few vacation days while working full-time.

If a vacation or retirement retreat is a well-deserved break in both situations, why did it feel different in retirement? Why didn't I relish it with the same intensity as I did when I was working?

One difference stood out: I wasn't returning to work after a few days. In fact, this getaway lacked the two "bookends" that held up my time off when I was employed: the moment of taking off from work and the moment of returning to work. If you ask me, both these moments have a unique charm.

When working full-time, writing that out-of-office email provides a special sense of validation before heading off for a few days of relaxation. I believe this is a common experience for many. Additionally, the limited amount of leisure time brings the joy of obtaining something typically out of reach, enhancing its enjoyment.

Going back to work after vacation also has its own kind of satisfaction, especially if you enjoy your work life, which I did. Returning to work puts an end to the constant company of whoever you vacationed with, even if it was just yourself. Secondly, you rest from structuring your time every day, which requires constant planning and decision-making.

I concluded that these were the reasons for the sort of homesickness I experienced from not having a "work home" to go back to.

This is not to say I wish to go back to a full-time employment home. This is saying that I am getting acquainted with the reality to which I come back now, when I return from a getaway. And this brings me to the second reflection I'm sharing.

I have a mental list of tasks, projects and pursuits I want to tackle. But somehow I haven't "had time" to tackle any of them. To give you an idea, the list is something like this:

• Renovate my small patio terrace with a new floor and installation of a roof

• Shop for new patio furniture and beautify patio vegetation

• Clean out and repair shed closet on side of house

• Upgrade living room bookcase with a new book storage idea

• Do a thorough decluttering of house closets

Besides home improvement and housekeeping projects, I have other interests on the list:

• Take an online class on DIY stock investing

• Take an online AI class

• Take an online class about Native American history

• Take any of the Master Classes that have come across my Facebook page, they all seem worthwhile

• Find and attend a good bloggers conference

• Go on an organized trip that involves lightweight hiking or biking

• Finish full draft of novel I've been writing for years and reward myself with a trip to Greece

• Read the various novels awaiting me

• Enroll in a fencing class

• Make homemade ice cream with the ice cream maker I got for Christmas

• Make at least one of the soup recipes I have saved while perusing through Facebook

What makes addressing any of these items challenging? Choosing which one(s) to prioritize first.

The issue isn't with committing to one. I am capable of sticking with an objective and seeing a project through. The hurdle is selecting from among the many choices.

Selecting is hard, I'll have you know, because making choices is stressful and drains your energy.

It's not me saying that, it's psychologists.

Consider this conclusion from several experiments published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology of the American Psychological Association: "...we are more fatigued and less productive when faced with a plethora of choices....People faced with numerous choices, whether good or bad, find it difficult to stay focused enough to complete projects, handle daily tasks or even take their medicine." The write-up is here: Too Many Choices-Good or Bad-Can Be Mentally Exhausting https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2008/05/many-choices

There's actually a term for this experience: choice overload. (Google it and you'll see.)

This other blog's post describes it more dramatically: "We might end up paralyzed by the pressure, procrastinating making a decision; surrendering control and choosing a direction randomly; or even restricting ourselves, returning to the familiar but less desirable situation we left behind. The known limitations of confinement can feel safer than the uncertain possibilities of freedom." (https://baillieaaron.medium.com/how-to-make-decisions-when-you-have-too-many-options-ccc500929794)

Oh my! I wanted freedom and now I'm struggling to handle it?

Perhaps. Working full time consumes so much time and effort that you have a limited amount left to dedicate to your other priorities. Whatever those may be, work serves as an anchor in an ocean of choices.

During lunch with a friend I met up with during my getaway, she revealed that her first few months of retirement were quite challenging. Despite being bright, resourceful, and socially adept, she felt isolated, lonely, and at a loss for how to spend her time. As a college professor, she had structured her time around busy class schedules, grading assignments and exams, and administrative duties. This structure was determined every semester by the college, which is to say, an external agent. (More so than in my case, where my last job allowed me to set my own hours.)

We concluded that when that structuring mechanism was removed, she was thrust into the un-practiced exercise of making choices about big chunks of her time. It took her a while to build the muscle for that exercise.

Certainly, this insight isn't discovering a new ocean. Many have navigated these waters before. The situation also differs for those who are tasked with caring for grandchildren or elderly parents. I am fortunate not to face the latter, and it's still too soon for the former.

Whatever the situation, I like this other blog's perspective and tips on how to manage time. https://babyboomerbliss.net/structuring-your-time-in-retirement/

So I am going to do some of what babyboomerbliss.net suggests. I also will do what I always do when I have to make a decision: wait for guidance from the universe. Indeed, on my first list above, it has sent me a couple of prompts.

Today, my yard guy came by and offered to grind down the tree roots that are starting to incur under the terrace tiles. He was ready to do it immediately, prepared and eager, for a very reasonable price. Perfect! It was an easy decision and a great prepping step for the terrace renovation project. My ex also stopped by this week to take care of something, and willingly agreed to clear out the shed. Most of the clutter in there belongs to him, after all.

By facilitating these two steps, I think the universe has nudged me to the terrace and shed first. Once those are in motion, I can arrange other items on the list around them.

So there it is: Paid employment burdens you with demands on your time and energy; a good retirement burdens you with choices for using your time and energy.

I'm fine with that.

If I managed to balance work demands with other enjoyable activities, I should be able to learn how to enjoy more free time and having more options.

I'll take the tradeoff.

There, I made a choice. Onward with retirement!